Contentment

There is an abysmal reserve
Deep, deep down
In the well of her being.
That sits empty
And dark.
If temperature could be
Registered down there,
It would be filled with the kind of
Coldness
That leaves your skin chilly and damp.
She does not deny its existence in her daily smiles.
Nor does she pretend
To know the depth
Of its miles of vastness.
She does imagine
It’s like a metal duct:
A tunnel with edges that could
Cut your fingertips if you got too close.
Light has never touched it,
Nor the warmth of sunshine.
It’s a place on its own latitude
Lacking love and luster and joy.
It isn’t waiting to be filled
Or hoping for a chance to become
Something it is not.
It sits without remorse for its presence,
Knowing it’s needed for balance.
The scale for which it weighs itself
Bends in the darkness,
Trying to keep things leveled out and smooth.
The grooves of time
Are etched in murkiness along its walls
Leading to uninhabitable obscurity.
Some days, she wants to kick it
Just to hear its hollowness echo like steel chimes
Reverberating over and over again.
And other days, she embraces it
Knowing she can’t rid herself of its parasitic residence.
The day will come, she thinks
When someone will see it,
Ask her about it
–and she’ll want to deny it—
She’ll try to fight it and mask its enormity with
Laughter and lies.
The day will come, she thinks.
When she can no longer hide it
When she can’t comply with it anymore
And be subject to its subsistence.
The day will come, she thinks.
Its persistence has always prevailed
Its nuisance has always failed to keep her from being
Content.
What a contemptable concept, she thinks.
Happiness, but in a limited way.
As if restricted and bound
By something found only in fantasy.
An apparition of belief that she
Wasn’t worthy
Of something more. 20181019_074547 (1)

 

3 Comments

  1. It’s a great description for this darkness we have inside and we always try to hide it and fight it…Beautiful flow as usually and loved the picture as well
    I say you can revive some old posts, the time when you didn’t have much followers, and re-post them so people can read them 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the suggestion! I was thinking of doing that EXACT thing! Check out my new post with the video poem! I was thinking of taking some of the older ones and adding video to them. I love that you are reading some of my older work! Thank you for your support, as always. &*& (on my computer, so you get the Buddha’s hugging!)

      Liked by 1 person

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